Grief is something all of us have to face in life at one point or another. Sometimes it can be devastating and debilitating. One thing is sure, the grief process is made much more healthy and effective with support.

Do you know someone who is grieving? Grief is often related to the loss of a loved one, but it can be related to the loss of anything. You can grieve the loss of a job, a lifestyle, or even an old home. Eventually you will know someone who is grieving, so it’s good to know some ways to help.

The first and easiest thing you can do is just be there for someone. Show up, don’t bring up anything sad if they don’t, and be a presence in the life of your grieving friend or loved one. They may not want to do whatever you usually do together, or that may be exactly what they need. Just be a consistent, positive presence in their life.

Also, be genuine when you communicate with someone who is grieving. Avoid minimizing, giving advice not asked for or offering a bunch of solutions. The grieving don’t need a fixer, they need an ear. One of the best things to say is, “I’m here and I care.”

Grief is a response to trauma. Trauma is an event and people process trauma in different ways than they do grief. However, the two are related. If your friend or loved one is having flashbacks to an event, and terror rather than sadness, they may be experiencing trauma. This trauma will have to be worked through in order to deal with their grief.

A grieving person may not be up front about how badly your support is needed, but that may be due to denial or pride. You need unobtrusive ways to comfort them that make them feel loved and accepted.

QUESTIONS TO REFLECT ON:

Thinking

Do you reflect on why it is hard for people to reach out?
Are you thinking about all the the things that you can do to help people experiencing grief?
Are you thinking about how you can further develop how to help people reach out?

Talk – New Language

Are you actively expressing the how you feel?
Do you speak of all the good and positive things that make you feel good and name the things that you like?
Are you continuously telling yourself and reminding yourself to accept your feelings?

Behaviour

Do you accept your emotions and go through the grief process?
Do you try and focus on positive behaviours that help you with your emotions?
Do you continuously learn more about how to understand and express your feelings and emotions ?

Relationships & Contribution