Feeling loved is defined differently by different people. Love could feel like a good morning kiss, a pulled-out seat, or maybe an opened car door. Regardless of what they’re defined as, feeling like you are loved is one of the most fulfilling things to experience.
One of the secrets to feeling loved by your partner, by others, is loving yourself first. Look at yourself the way you should be looked at. Appreciate yourself the way you should be appreciated. You teach people how to love you by showing them how you love yourself.
The truth of the matter is, if you don’t have enough love for yourself, if you don’t feel good enough, if you don’t feel lovable, you’ll go around looking for that love from someone else and eventually realize even that isn’t enough. You just end up chasing a love that won’t fulfill you. You must find the love within yourself in order for you to truly appreciate what love feels like.
One of the things you can do to feel loved, given you have already learned to love yourself as well, is to open your heart to people. You can do a lot of things to initiate this. An example is to be open to meaningful and deep conversations. Having a talk about feelings and emotions with people who matter to you can be such a good avenue for showing and feeling love. Another is to be present. We have to let ourselves be in the moment. We need to actually listen and hear people, feel them, see them. We need to give our full attention when needed.
In the grand scheme of things, love is a two-way street. It takes effort from both parties to maintain it. We need to value the people we love and recognize if we are not showing them the love they deserve as well. As much as we have the right to ask for the love we need, we also have to listen to what kind of love they need; and in order for us to be able to do all these, we need to love and be secure about ourselves also.
Do you do these things?
Thinking
- Actively think of things you can do to feel love
- Think of the positive things about your life that make you feel loved
- Seek out plans and situations that gravitate towards feeling loved
Talk – New Language
- Tell yourself that you are loved by yourself and others
- Enumerate all the things that you love about yourself and the things that people love about you
Behaviour
- Actively seek out behavior that allow for self love and behavior that elicit feeling loved by others
- Focus on behaviors that you love and others love about you
Relationships & Contribution
- Actively seek out and maintain relationships that make you feel loved
- Identify the positive aspects of the relationships you have that make you feel loved
